Stranger #16
Programming a film festival
A dozen factors go into choosing a film. Will it sell tickets? Is it a premiere? Does it balance your line-up, put your festival on the map, help bring a star to the event or get you press coverage…? Be ready to ignore them all if the film is transformative and needs to be seen: that’s why you do this job in the first place, don’t ever forget it.
Finding adventure
It depends on your temperament. If adventure finds you then worry about staying safe and sane. Adventure doesn’t come looking for me. I have to make an effort to seek it out. You might too. Try this: say YES to everything and everyone for one week, and see where that takes you.
Over the span of 20 years, I lived in seven different countries. Some of that was definitely an adventure. Now that I’m more settled, it takes a conscious effort to bring together the components of an adventure, big or small: opening yourself up to new experiences, stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a risk or two.
The benefits are plenty, starting with a sense of heightened experience (life at its fullest?), that otherwise only comes around sporadically (childhood, drugs, falling in love, travelling, creating art…).
Going to SXSW
Stay healthy. Texas is not known for its healthy food, yet Austin is home to the first and largest Wholefoods store: drop by daily. Leave downtown and experience something real, even if it’s just a piñata shop or an authentic BBQ: yes the festival’s on, but how often are you planning to be in Texas?
The event is so huge you’ll only experience a fraction of it (2%, and that’s if you don’t sleep for 10 days). Fear-of-missing-out is your biggest enemy. Put that shit away. Focus on 3 or 4 films, acts or seminars you’re happy to stand in line for, then take chances on unknown artists and let your intuition guide you. You will miss out (like that time I chose a talk by Lena Dunham over a skype interview with Ed Snowden), but that’ll make comparing notes with other festival-goers that much more fun.
Telling your parents you are gay
My parents barely blinked, and that was nearly 20 years ago. Coming out might be even easier now (just yesterday I came across a camp for LGBTIQ kids and youth curious about their sexuality or gender identity).
Everyone’s family is different though, so there’s no blanket advice. If your family isn’t pre-disposed to accept you the way you are, give them time, and assemble your own alternative family in the interim. Just be proud of who you are and find love and support where you can.
If you have straight friends who have kids, open their eyes and hearts to the wide identity spectrum in which their child might define themselves, across sexuality and gender. We have to make it easier for future generations to be who they are by easing up on conformist pressures and social conditioning.
Would like advice on
I’d love to get advice on starting a family as a gay couple in Australia, on how to run an arts organization without burning out, and on how to get to the front of the queue when Martian colonization begins.
Best advice received
Don’t pay for anything with your health.
Life experience
39 years
Location
Sydney, Australia