Stranger #19

Take One friendships, social media, Work

Drunk facebooking
In the instance of drunken status rants, it’s a good idea to approach drunk facebooking the same way you should drunk dialling or texting your ex: Just don’t do it. It may seem like a good idea to get stuff off your chest but inevitably you’re just going to come across as a needy weirdo. Call a good friend and vent to them instead – You’ll get genuine support and no judgement that way.

Photos: There’s probably not a lot you can do here except maybe pause before you post. And hope that you don’t look like too much of a trash bag in the photos your friends post.

Leaving the hospitality industry
Don’t feel like you’re stuck.

Hospitality is a lifestyle as well as a job. The hours are long and unsociable (to people in “normal” jobs anyway, you probably do more socialising than most people) and can often result in developing odd eating, boozing and sleeping habits (I left the industry 2 years ago after 13 years and still have no compunctions eating pasta for breakfast or getting drunk on a Tuesday).

Many people who have been in the industry for a long time feel they don’t have the skills or qualifications to do anything else which isn’t true. Depending on what sort of work you want to do there might be some study necessary but if you need a clean break from the industry, you are probably qualified for something in sales, retail or marketing. Do some research and go for it.

If you’re really unhappy, leave before you start to hate the human race.

This sounds pretty dramatic but the stress, hours, and jerky customers can take their toll and left unchecked can change you into a cynical, disgruntled hater. You’ve probably come across the odd coworker who makes you think “why does he work in hospitality? He seems to hate people!”

Leave before you become that guy. Nobody likes that guy. And he gets shit tips.

Living with friends
Set some ground rules early on and then try to stick to them as much as possible.
It’s really easy in the beginning when living with friends to feel like your at one awesome slumber party where you get to hang out with your besties all the time staying up late, watching movies, getting drunk and talking about life and love.

But at some point, the dishes need to be washed. The rent has to be paid and someone has to take the rubbish out. Remember that probably up until this point, you’ve probably only seen these friends in fun social situations. It’s an entirely different ball game when you see each other everyday – when you’re at your worst as well as your best.

It can feel surprisingly awkward to have to tell your friend, even your best friend that you find it really irritating that they eat your food without asking first and NEVER clean unless you nag them. Or when you find out that they get annoyed with your nasty habits (and we all have at least one) but only after they yell at you seemingly out of nowhere after bottling it up for weeks.

It sounds really boring and obvious but the best way to avoid this stuff is to sit down on the first day and sort out a cleaning roster, set a system for groceries, paying bills and rent and compare your work schedules so everyone gets a hot shower every day.

It’s impossible to avoid all conflict of course but you can make it easier by addressing the stuff that annoys you straight away in a straight forward but polite way and not ignoring it until you get to a point where you get angry about it. We never really notice our annoying habits until they get pointed out to us and instead of being affronted we can use these as opportunities get to know our friends even better and maybe even improve ourselves a little.

I for one, am much better at not leaving my dishes in the sink these days.

Best advice received?
Own up to your mistakes. Don’t make excuses, just always try to learn and do better.

Would you like advice on
I would love advice on starting an online business and how to get a job as a visual merchandiser.

 Life Experience
30 years

Location
Sydney, Australia